🟣 The Cost of Jealousy and Envy on Your (Financial) Health.

👀 Why Can’t I Have That?

Hello there 💜

And welcome to Sacha, Bailey, Salim, Anastasiia, Johnny, Clare, Leah, Elodie, and all the others who joined last week!

We're now a community of 181 on Money Feelings.

We'd fit comfortably in one of London's loveliest theaters: Wilton's Music Hall!

(With the 14 paid subscribers getting the balcony seats, a backstage pass, and an invitation to the after-party. Just saying 😉).

Imagine!

Wilton’s Music Hall, London.

How has your week been? How are you feeling today? How are you feeling right now?

Think of the next 10 minutes as an indulgence—a brief moment for reflection, growth, and caring for your financial health this week.

Let me start with a few questions:

🟣 Do you feel a pang of envy when a friend gets promoted, takes a luxurious vacation, or talks about their investments?

🟣 Do you ever feel inadequate when you see others achieving milestones such as starting a business, buying a home, or a vacation home?

🟣 Have you ever experienced even the slightest guilt or shame after having these thoughts?

If you nodded along to any of those, guess what? You're in good company.

I'm pretty sure everyone in our 181-person community has felt "financial envy" at least once or twice.

It's not a comfortable feeling.

Financial envy affects our self-esteem and relationships, clouds our judgment, and leads to poor financial decisions. It can drain our energy and happiness.

No, a subscription to Money Feelings won't free you from social comparison.

📌 But here's what it can do:

I'll use the coming month to dive deep into the Feeling of envy, embracing a slow pace and long reads to get you:

👉 A comprehensive understanding of financial envy from a double perspective: psychology and finance.

👉 Space for introspection and tools to determine your level of financial envy and understand its effects on you.

👉 Practical tips from mental health and finance experts on managing and positively using your envy.

👉 If you need more support, I'll share recommendations for extra learning material and experts.

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Welcome to your new series on Envy.

🌿🌿🌿 You won’t find a grass greener than here!

🟣 But first, if someone forwarded you this email, Money Feelings is your weekly dose of financial self-care.

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Today’s program to boost your financial EQ and wisdom is about:

👥 The difference between envy and jealousy.

👀 The people you’re most envious of, and why.

👿 The 5 reasons your (financial) envy is not a sin.

🫀 The emotional price of your financial envy.

💰 Its effects on your financial situation (real and perceived).

➕ 6 concepts at the intersection of psychology and finance.

➕ 17 questions to ask yourself to understand your financial envy.

Are you jealous or envious? What’s the difference?

The Feeling we are discussing this month has three components:

1. You see someone who has something you don't have.

2. You wish you had that something.

3. This makes you feel hurt inside.

This complex emotion is known as envy.

When discussing envy, we almost always default to using "jealousy." It's the term that resonates most with us in our day-to-day conversations.

We don't say, "I'm envious of," we say, "I'm jealous of."

But jealousy paints a slightly different picture.

It's more about the fear of losing what you've already got — whether it's your accomplishments, status, or even your significant other — to someone else.

Jealousy involves a triangular dynamic between the self, the partner, and the perceived rival.

It's like when your sibling gets more attention from your parents, your best friend spends more time with someone else, or your partner flirts with another person.

This is who you are most envious of and why.

In this research on the evolutionary psychology of envy, the researchers asked:

💡 Are you more envious of:

(A) someone who is similar to you in most respects but is a bit wealthier (say 50% wealthier) or

(B) more envious of Bill Gates?

10 out of 11 people who were surveyed chose A.

The researchers remarked that these results don't make sense. What would be logical is that the richer someone is compared to you, the more envious you'd feel.

But counterintuitively, this isn't true.

The research further goes:

💡 Now imagine you are a first-generation Indian immigrant in the United States; "A" has something you want, and you envy him; "B" has the same thing, and "C" does too. Who would you be most envious of?

(A) your neighbor is also an Indian immigrant of comparable talent;

(B) a Chinese immigrant;

(C) an American local.

All respondents chose A.

Because A is the proof that someone similar to you can have all these things.

So why not you?

Envy of others always reflects something we feel about ourselves.

That's why we envy people like us in age, gender, cultural background, jobs, etc. And not celebrities or socialites.

🟣 When did you last feel financially envious of someone close to you?

🟣 Who is it that you most regularly get (financially) envious of?

Your envy has never been greater than today.

💡 The rest of this episode is available to subscribers only. To keep reading, you can:

1) Use the referral program to win access to paid content.

2) Get balcony seats and a backstage pass with a paid subscription 😉.