My Money Feelings, Irritating Money Habit, and Fascination with Flowers.

🟣 Pauline, 40, writer, Amsterdam.

May 16, 2024

Hello there 💜

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Today's a special edition because we celebrate two months of your Money Feelings weekly sessions.

So, I figured it was about time I introduced myself using the Money Feelings Questionnaire, a new format designed to help us delve deeper into our financial emotions and better understand each other.

Today, I'm opening up with my personal answers, offering you a more intimate look into the person guiding your financial wellness sessions.

You'll learn about my irritating money habit, most significant money blunders, fascination with flowers, and Jeremy Allen White.

🟣 But first, if someone forwarded you this email, Money Feelings is your weekly dose of financial self-care designed to:

Kiss your limiting money mindsets and behaviors goodbye.
Grow your financial wisdom in style: less jargon, more emotion.
Increase your financial well-being, one feeling at a time.

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NAME: Pauline de Zeeuw

AGE: 40

FROM: Paris – currently living in Amsterdam (after a few detours).

ASTRO: Sun in Scorpio. Leo rising. Moon in Taurus.

LOVES: Crafting, stand-up comedy, planning family adventures with my husband, disaster baking with my two sons, Jeremy Allen White, Corsica, and fresh flowers.

MISSIONS: Spread the feeling of financial well-being, help women increase their (earning) power, and make colorful things.

JOB(S)/PROJECT(S): I’m the author of Money Feelings, the weekly financial wellness newsletter you’re reading.

I’m also a member of the Snowball collective, the number-one Substack newsletter in France (57,000 readers), where I write (in French) the financial psychology newsletter Snowball Thérapie.

Because I love writing (and oversharing), I have a third newsletter - something very personal - called Photo Puzzle, which I haven’t officially launched yet…

SURPRISE(S): I sang on the French soundtrack of Paddington Bear.

🟣 Which one of your money habits do you suspect annoys your partner/family/friends?

I like to plan.

My husband likes to plan.

We plan (a lot).

Weekend trips and school holidays… we love planning!

It doesn’t primarily stem from a financial perspective, though.

We're generally organized and genuinely enjoy the planning process. Sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we'll sit on the sofa and discuss potential adventures, routes, and logistics.

Knowing we have adventures ahead also brings us joy.

So, while it’s not primarily a money-saving habit, it significantly impacts our spending and enables us to do much more with less money.

Other positive points: we can avoid hasty decisions, have a wider range of choices, and sidestep any last-minute stresses.

These things might not matter as much when traveling without kids, but they become invaluable when they're part of the adventures!

We're already scheming our vacation itinerary for Spring 2025...

I know.

ANNOYING.

🟣 What's a purchase that brought you lasting joy?

Photo albums.

I love photography, graphic design, and storytelling. Crafting photo albums allows me to blend these interests while capturing what I consider life's most precious treasures: experiences and memories of these experiences.

Everyone at home loves them. We flip through them often.

For me, they’re the definition of a purchase that brings lasting joy.

🟣 You just won the lottery. What is the first cause you support?

Feminization of wealth.

I’d love to live in a world where women have more money.

I want to contribute to and support initiatives that increase women's earning power (through financial literacy, maintaining control over their money, buying properties, entrepreneurship, investing…, etc.).

I truly believe that achieving (financial) gender equality is the linchpin to addressing many other issues worldwide.

I love Ellevest’s motto: “Nothing bad happens when women have more money.”

🟣 Does your spending style resemble your parents, or did you rebel?

I have a very similar spending style to my parents but a different approach to money management and mindset (primarily compared to my mum).

One belief I've adopted from my parents is that time, health, and experiences are the most precious “things.”

I don’t care much about traditional luxury items like cars, watches, bags, exclusive boutique hotels, etc. But I’m very relaxed about spending money on eating well, playing sports, and going on adventures.

Also, when my financial situation allows it (an important detail!), instead of spending hours researching what is cheaper or hunting for the best deal, I tend to cut corners.

For example, I'll ask a friend which washing machine they bought, if they're happy with it, and then get it.

This probably means that sometimes (often?), I spend more money than I should.

But for me, that's okay.

Because it aligns with my priorities and what I consider the most incredible luxury: time spent doing things I enjoy.

(Like not researching washing machines.)

I also grew up well aware that being able to prioritize these things is an incredible privilege!

But I did "rebel" from my parents’ money management style.

They have a traditional setup: My dad takes care of all finances and makes all the big-money decisions. My mum has only a little overview of what's happening, and she also actively wanted nothing to do with it for a long time (though it's changing).

If she were to take the Klontz Money Scripts Test, I suspect her primary Money Script would be "Money Avoidance." This script is the one of people who believe that money is bad. They may believe that wealthy people are greedy or corrupt. They have negative ideas about wealth and having money.

(Having this money script can lead to believing we don’t deserve money and sabotage our financial success. More info here if you’re interested.)

I inherited this script.

I used to think money management and investing were subjects reserved for men and the rich, whom I wanted nothing to do with because they were all evil.

Money was also taboo for me, but I did not want to discuss it anyway because I found it terribly boring.

Until ten years ago.

With a background in law, I used to do extensive comparative legal research on financial matters for governments worldwide, law firms, and international institutions.

I discovered I loved writing and, more particularly, turning complicated topics into easily digestible information.

I returned to university to develop this skill further. I studied communication design at Central Saint Martins in London, which allowed me to link my writing skills with design, branding, and other content creation skills.

For years after that, I worked for European neobrokers and fintechs with the mission to democratize access to finance, developing approachable, inclusive educational content on personal finance and investing.

These years drastically changed my beliefs related to money (and investing).

Now, I think of money as a means to live my dream life. I confidently handle all financial matters in my household - and with enthusiasm!

I’m also convinced it is my most powerful tool for having the positive impact I wish on society and the planet.

And in this process, I discovered a true passion: the influence of psychology on our financial behaviors.

I was inspired by my mum, who’s a therapist.

🟣 What did your kid’s piggy bank look like?

Like this :)

I have no idea how or why I still have this, to be honest. I’ve had it since I was 8, and it’s still full of euro cents.

And now my brain goes, “How much would it be now if I had invested it in the S&P500 25 years ago?”

I’ll make my 7-year-old count all the cents inside and give you the answer soon!

🟣 Is there a money habit of someone you know that secretly drives you insane?

For me, it's when people are super picky about splitting restaurant bills.

Like, "I didn't touch any of the appetizers, so I shouldn't be charged for them."

But you know what? I've learned to be more empathetic toward these habits through my work.

People don’t have them because they were born annoying.

All our money habits come from somewhere - like values instilled by our parents, our cultures, trauma we experienced, or societal expectations.

It still annoys me, but knowing this helps me be more understanding.

I've also realized the importance and positive power of being more open about money, so I never hesitate to bring it up to avoid misunderstandings or discomfort.

🟣 The zombie apocalypse is upon us. Which possession do you save?

Sorry, I can't pick just one!

The wooden table my dad made using my great grandma’s painted tiles.
The alphabet embroidery my mum made in the 80s.
My grandma’s necklace.
My photo albums.

I'd definitely be zombie bait before you could say "apocalypse".

🟣 If you could time-travel and stop one money-related mistake, what would it be?

Sorry, I can't pick just one!

Not negotiating my starting salary (twice).
Not regularly negotiating my salary.
Not preparing properly when I found the courage to negotiate my salary.
Not having any long-term financial goals.
Not investing earlier.
Going to Pret for breakfast, lunch, and afternoon coffee pretty much every single day of the 8 years I lived in London (which wouldn’t have been an issue if I had addressed the previous bullet points).

🟣 Would you rather stick to a strict budget or wear wet socks all day?

Team “wet socks all day”!

When I delved into personal finance, the prevailing narrative was that you need a strict budget.

Despite being well-organized and loving planning, I found this task incredibly stressful. It felt like another mandate in the traditional money discourse that left me feeling stressed, incompetent, and frankly, bored to death with personal finance.

But there are alternatives!

I recommend following Dana Miranda’s Substack newsletter, Healthy Rich, for different approaches and a shame-free discourse on money management.

I'm eagerly awaiting the release of her book: YOU DON’T NEED A BUDGET, coming out December 2024.

🟣 If your bank account could talk, what would it reveal is your greatest extravagance?

Sorry, I can't pick just one!

Photo albums.
Vacations.
Fresh flowers—which I would put in the “self-care” category if I had a strict budget—are a passion I developed when we moved to the Netherlands from London 8 years ago. I even have a business idea for later—a flower delivery service. One bouquet a week, inspired by art. The designs are rough, but it could look like this 👇 (reach out if you want to be an early investor 😉).

Paul Klee, Still life with autumn flowers, 1925

🟣 Who would you like to see on a new banknote?

Sorry, I can't pick just one!

Sallie Krawcheck, the CEO of Ellevest, an investment platform and financial literacy program for women.
Otegha Uwagba, the author of my favorite book on personal finance, “We Need to Talk about Money.”
Jeremy Allen White buying flowers at the farmers market.