🟣 Money Trauma: How to Be More Aware, Cope, and Heal

3 concrete exercises and 2 special gifts to support your financial journey.

Pauline

May 07, 2024

⏱️ The program for your weekly dose of financial self-care:

A recap of what we learned on financial trauma.
Three exercises to be more aware, cope, or heal.
Two special gifts to support your financial journey.
One multimedia mixtape if you want to know more.
Four opportunities to improve your experience.

Hello there 💜

If you're new to Money Feelings, it's great to have you here!

Over the past month, we've explored the relationship between trauma and money.

I shared my research, and two specialists in the field offered their expertise.

Everyone else had a comfortable back seat. 😎

Today, we'll wrap up the theme with an interactive session.

In other words, I'm putting you to work!

But by the end, you'll receive two special gifts to support your efforts on your financial journey.

Make sure you don't miss them!

🟣 But first, if someone forwarded you this email, Money Feelings is your weekly dose of financial self-care designed to:

Kiss your limiting money mindsets and behaviors goodbye.
Grow your financial wisdom in style: less jargon, more emotion.
Increase your financial well-being, one feeling at a time.

If you don’t want to miss one:

You can also make yourself visible by sponsoring the free monthly newsletter or offering discounts on your services/products to Money Feelings readers:

If you want more information about Money Feelings, follow this link.

You can also follow me on Substack or LinkedIn.

Scroll down if you’re on top of things! 

But if you missed something in the past 3 weeks or feel like a recap because you know that repetition is the first principle of all learning, here are the highlights:

[Week 1] 🧠 Discover

Many people who've experienced trauma end up facing ongoing financial challenges because trauma changes the way we make decisions and influences our beliefs toward money, leading to harmful money behaviors.
Psychologists believe certain money-related experiences can also be considered "traumatic.” Experiences such as abrupt financial loss, overwhelming debt, enduring poverty, inability to retire, or economic hardship can cause “financial trauma.”
Behaviors such as impulsive purchasing, hoarding, avoiding our finances, extreme frugality, workaholism, or obsessing over money matters could all be signs of financial trauma.

[Week 2] 🎙️ Deepen

If you’re wondering whether you need to do mindset or trauma work, you could ask yourself: Do I have a physical response to money? (Like feeling it in your stomach, going hot and cold at the thought of talking about money, or literally tearing your hair out).
Phrases like: “I feel sick just thinking about money,” “I can't look at my banking app,” “It makes my stomach churn,” and “I can't get the words out” are not just throwaway phrases; they indicate that something other than money mindset work is needed.
Other common signs include trying to fill a void using money, like with retail therapy; people-pleasing, like spending money on other people before themselves; or addictive behaviors, like chasing money by working longer and harder.

[Week 3] 🎧 Master

Your unhelpful financial behaviors are not a disorder; they could be a natural response to trauma. Framing it like this can help us depersonalize some of the shame around our behaviors and empower us to create change.
Our dominant economic culture encourages many harmful behaviors around money, making it difficult to eliminate them. While we don’t fully heal from financial trauma, we get faster at our responses.
Just like there's no one right way to be around money, there's no one right way to heal from trauma. The Trauma of Money Method™ is a “living framework.” It will give you the steps to explore, but how you execute those steps can be on the modality of healing of your choice.

The exercises below won't magically fix your money issues, but they're a great way to:

👉 Understand the circumstances that shaped your beliefs about money.
👉 Become aware of any financial trauma you might be dealing with.
👉 Break the stigma surrounding financial difficulties.

Importantly, these exercises are all recommended by financial therapists or finance professionals. I will never share one that isn’t. But they are not meant to replace individualized financial or psychological advice tailored to your specific situation.

1. Your financial flashpoints

This is an exercise a financial planner could ask you to do. Financial psychology pioneer Brad Klontz recommends it in his Psychology of Financial Planning, Practitioner's Toolkit.

According to Klontz, “Financial flashpoints are life events associated with money that are so emotionally powerful, they leave an imprint that lasts into adulthood. [They] can range from the mundane to the traumatic and are a key element in the development of our financial psychology.”

Klontz suggests we answer four questions to help us uncover and understand the stressful or traumatic circumstances that could have shaped our mindsets about money.

🟣 Exercise 1: You could spend some time reflecting on these four questions this coming week.

- How much stress did your family experience around money in your early years?

- Did your family’s situation change dramatically at some point in your life? If so, how did that impact you?

- Were you ever exposed to violence or discrimination, or have you felt judged or excluded based on your socioeconomic status?

- What beliefs around money did you adopt to make sense of these experiences?

2. Your physical reaction to money

According to trauma-informed financial coach Kim Uzzel, “Trauma is held in the body. So if you feel it in your stomach or if you're literally tearing your hair out, that's a trauma response.”

🟣 Exercise 2: This coming week, you could pay closer attention to how money conversations or decisions make you feel.

As Kim suggests, also notice the sentences you say (such as “I feel sick just thinking about money” or “I can't look at my banking app”). They're not just throwaway phrases!

3. Your challenge to speak up

One of the most important things we can all do is talk about money more openly and honestly daily.

It might sound easy to some, but having open-money conversations is incredibly difficult for many people and can make a big difference.

When we talk about money openly, it helps us stop some of our negative trauma responses from lodging in our bodies.

It also breaks down barriers that often protect those already having much of it. When we bring it out into the open, we challenge the status quo that tends to favor the same people.

🟣 Exercise 3: This coming week, you could try to talk about money with a friend, coworker, or partner.

And if you're not feeling comfortable discussing money in your current circles, you can always join the Money Feelings comment section for a supportive space to share your thoughts.

🟣 Paid Subscribers Only: Browse Your Ever-Expanding List of Exclusive Discounts

Pauline

Jul 29

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15% discount on financial coaching with Kim Uzzell

Kim Uzzel is a UK-based Chartered Wealth Manager and certified trauma-informed money coach who conducts CPD-accredited training in Financial Trauma Awareness.

She offers a 15% discount on all her services.

Some resources about Kim's practice that you might find helpful:

18% discount on The Trauma of Money Method™ program

The Trauma of Money Method™ is a compassionate approach, delivered through online training, that explores frameworks for healing collective and individual traumas to create financial safety and well-being.

Some resources about The Trauma of Money Method™ that you might find helpful:

If you want to explore the intersection of trauma and money further, I've compiled this mixtape of quality content to give you some direction.

[⏱️ 15 sec] A meme about humor in trauma.

[⏱️ 6 min] An article about viral saving trends with Kim Uzzell.

[⏱️ 7 min] A YouTube video about money trauma in childhood.

[⏱️ 8 min] An episode of The Social TV show with Chantel Chapman.

[⏱️ 11 min] A New York Times article on how to deal with financial trauma.

[⏱️ 25 min] A podcast episode discussing eight sources of financial trauma.

[⏱️ 36 min] A money diary: From anxiety disorder to healing money trauma.

[⏱️ 37 min] A research article on the impact of psychological trauma on our finances.

[⏱️ 2 hours] An upcoming free workshop to identify and disrupt financial shame.

[⏱️ 8 hours] A memoir and cultural commentary that will make you talk about money.

[⏱️ 12 hours] An exceptional novel that portrays the impacts of growing up in poverty.

[⏱️ 3 months] An online program to heal psychological traumas and create financial safety and well-being.

Researching and writing about trauma this past month was quite challenging but also fascinating.

I picked up ways to be more aware of how I react to money. I feel it’s helped me break down some stigma around financial struggles and be more understanding and supportive of the people around me.

But Money Feelings isn't about me—it's about you. And I'd appreciate your input in making it something that truly adds value to your life.

I've got four quick questions for you this week, which will help me do that.

All responses to the questions below are anonymous. I'll only see the overall results in percentages, with no names tied to any answers.

My goals for the past month were to:

Shed light on the intertwined relationship between trauma and money and the concept of financial trauma.
Provide space and concrete actions to help you determine whether you (or someone you care about) should address it.
If so, connect you with outstanding practitioners in this field to assist you in addressing it.

If you answered 'Not really,' I would appreciate your taking a few minutes to tell me why.